June 12 is our Independence Day.
July 4 is Independence Day over at the States.
July 12 is my Independence Day.
Today is my last day here at work before I go on leave. The forces that be have been merciful to give me a morning shift. My boss went home around an hour ago. The people who would usually put life in this bay I'm at are also on the night shift. The jackasses I hang out with at this time are away, resting. Make that just one jackass. I am alone in my station. Blogging when I should be working. But I am not working.
Today is quite possibly the last day I see some people who have been very monumental in my life thus far. I would talk about them, but I'd rather not. They were caught doing wrong, and right now I'm waiting on what news on their verdict. Regardless of them getting a pink slip or a reprieve, their spirits seem to have been broken. Now I get an invite from one of their friends to have a drink later. A drink doesn't seem to be such a bad idea now. To think I spurned the same thought a few days ago, with some other good friends who aren't in such a... challenging... situation. My sincerest apologies to those two friends of mine.
Today, I thought to go ahead and go stalker mode as I went ahead and simply searched for a certain somebody we all probably know as Ninja Vanish on Google. Usually I'd give you a good intro about how boring things are here at work to serve as a reason behind me doing this, but now - and for a limited time only (naks) - I will honestly say that I really intended to look for her. Turns out that she signed up to a few more Social Networking sites, more than I was used to. Looking at her brought out that familiar feeling of your heart being pulled down to depths you thought you would never be in again.
A good friend of mine once told me that if i was going to be blogging, I would do better by talking about good things. This grief I feel is a good thing. I feel pain. I feel frustration. I feel hatred. I feel all sorts of unpleasant things.I feel weak.
God's strength is made known in weakness.
Anyone else would have gone emo. I'm breathing a little bit harder than usual due to all this rigamarole, this hoot'nanny, this tomfoolery, this hokum, these otherwise seemingly toxic events occuring in my life. The sunken feeling of my heart is still lingering. But I thank God. I praise Him. I seek Him. Truly, the only thing I have total control over in this life is how I react. Everything else happens for the good of those who love Him. He has made me glad. He is my shield, my strength, my portion, and my deliverer.
Today I celebrate freedom. My freedom from work for 2 months. The 'freedom' of these friends of mine who bit the bullet. My freedom from the torment and pain brought about by dwelling on the past.
Today I testify that I have an option to keep going, to continue raising up what needs to be raised to God. Today, I testify that God, through Jesus whose blood secured my salvation, is with me more now than ever.
Today, I unfurl the flag. The picture you see above is the original image I took of the Philippine flag last July 12 over at the Athletic bowl. Red over blue.
Today is my Independence Day. Let the war continue, with the banner raised. God bless you.
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." - Matthew 10:34