I'm out of rhymes and i'm losing my momentum. It is ironic that the calm after the storm is never easier than the lightning and wind. Only after the storm has passed can you really see the damage done.
It's happening again. This person so close to my heart will suddenly disappear, leaving me helpless and lost and lonely. And i haven't learned fromt aht
yet. I'm still beating myself up, when i know that there's someone else to blame. The bad part of it is i don't learn until only after i give the most human reaction i can.
At least last time she disappeared so abruptly. Now it feels like a dragging goodbye. If you never felt that before, picture this:
You've been in an accident that left you WOUNDED, MUTE, in EXTREME Pain, and just
plain LOUSY.
Picture a bandage over a painful wound you got, say, near your crotch or something.
Then picture the person you love the most. It's only you and him/her in your hospital room.
Now imagine that he/she thinks the best remedy for the wound is to SLOWLY pull the bandage away at a speed just enough to hurt you the most.
And then think. Would you love and trust him/her enough to pull the bandage for you and see what happens after?
In my case, should i just let this slide and see what happens, depending on a higher wisdom(not necessarily hers)? or should i take things into my own hands?
God, i really hope you're reading this. I just love her too damn much, and i feel like Marlin, too scared to let go of Nemo.
If you read this from the start (around 2 or 3 bulletin posts below) and you've gone this far, thanks. i appreciate someone reading this.
Everyone, i'm not really thinking straight now.. So far, i've contracted a broken-heart induced case of depression, confusion, anger and frustration.
But i'm slowly recovering. Sorry for wasting your time.
By the way, someone tried to steal my sunshine after I posted I:FRUSTRATION in Friendster. Just what you need when you're pissed. A fucking insensitive bi-curious but apparent FAG with a raw appetizer for a nickname who thinks that the best way to react to what i posted is to post his own piece, something totally SHALLOW and INCOMPETENT, with the (vague) point, 'I've gone through worse shit than you.'
I got news for you, boyo. fuck you. Fuck You. FUCK YOU. I needed sympathy, and you stepped on me. God have mercy on you for what you did. You didn't help me, you pissed me off more.
Enough of that. Another holler to the guys who sent me messages during that time. You know who you are. Pat yourselves on the back(?). You guys are the best.