(The first portion of this was written in McDonalds when my phone was running of out juice)
Usually they would ask us at church how we are, to which a good majority would say, "I am greatly blessed, highly favored, and deeply loved by God." Right now, if someone were to ask me the same question, I would say:
I feel underachieved. I don't have a job, and right now I wouldn't know what to make of my life after all this time I had here on earth. I have responsibilities, all right. But it seems like I don't have a firm grip over what I'm given charge over. Since dad died I've been handed the responsibility of the lots under his name. It's been close to a year since his passing and I don't see much progress. I was supposed to have new titles under my name but I couldn't find the claim slip required to receive them. I couldn't move towards putting the rest of the lots under my name without processing this first. I was assigned to work for the anniversary magazine for our church but I don't see anyone else moving in giving me the pictures that I need for the layout. I feel helpless that there isn't much to move on, when there's a deadline to meet at the same time.
I feel like I want to do something! But at the same time this flesh - this LAZY, SEXUALLY IMMORAL flesh with its morally compromising tongue is making its stench known - as if it was still alive - though I know that it was SLAIN as Christ was killed for me! That was me, and no longer will I tolerate it! By the grace of God, through the blood of Jesus Christ, my flesh is DEAD and I am a NEW CREATION!
(continued)
Therefore, though things are not necessarily going my way and though it seems as if this is prime time for the enemy to weigh me down with condemnation, I will press on towards perfection in Christ, knowing that He will never leave nor forsake me, even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
Blessed be the Name of the Lord, the Name above all names. He loves me, and I love Him... and though I find it hard to see the light in these times, I take heart in knowing that He will make it all work for my good!
To God, and to God alone be all glory and praise, forever and ever! In Jesus' Name, Amen!
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