Children of the Corn

A friend of mine had a theory a few hours back regarding how words with 'og' in them sound dirty. There's libog and uttog (words for jungle fever in Tagalog and Ilocano), and another friend just happened to make 'binatog' - a local street dessert comprised mainly of corn and evaporated milk, usually served in a plastic cup - sound like hot caveman sex("Pare! Binatog ko siya!"). I find it hilarious, in a Beavis and Butthead-y sort of way.

In the face of these examples supporting my friend's claim, I remember that I was about to supplement it in support, but something held me back. Now I remember. Damn it, I'm blogging right now, and that had better not sound dirty.

Why do I feel like I just kicked myself in the ass again?

Anyway, here's another thought. Your tongue seems to adjust naturally to appreciating cold, unadulterated (read: No Chaser!) Fundador. That being said, in this world where the sad observation that anyone at any age can be exposed to smoking, scantily clad ladies, and San Mig Light is turning into reality, we may be looking at a very diverse group of people appreciating that particular brand of brandy (?).

Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'. The guy who turns out to be the unexpected barrel of monkeys during a wake can put the 'fun' in 'Funeral', but who or what puts the 'fun' in 'Fundador'? Putting it in that context, I imagine someone pouring 'happy tonic' in a huge vat where all that crap is mixed.

Seriously, is the stuff they have in bars nowadays really aged in oak barrels? Is that shampoo you're constantly dipping your hair in really 100% natural? Can we really believe It's Not Butter? Are those real!?

People, we have the next generation of boogeymen: Con Men. In the words of Maury Ballstein, these guys can probably "take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings."

Put down that gratitious bag of low-fat, low calorie, South Beach-compliant, Atkins-compliant, high-energy, high-protein, high-quality, chips of fresh, all-natural, well-fertilized and sun-dried corn harvested from some place nobody cares about and get yourself a nice, steamy, cup of binatog!