Before going on, let it just be known that I'm typing this down on the fly, in pursuit of my true opinion on this subject. Ergo, I apologize if ever the point could be vague or topsy-turvy or contradicting.
Since Grade One, I have been constantly and effectively exposed to people older than me. Being the little kid, the younger brother reaps various reactions, sometimes contrasting, all the time condescending. People looked at my situation as an opportunity, a predicament, or a reason to take advantage of me. And so it went, and so it goes, up until this moment.
And for a few days now I've been thinking about myself when it comes to hanging out with other people. A lot of recent circumstances piqued my attention toward this session of self-thought. For example, just last night I came from a dinner party with family friends, and I noticed that I was eating with people at least 5 years older than me, one of them was my brother. Surrounding us were people possibly my age, and I found myself thinking a bit lower toward these guys. By the way, American Idol was on, so for a while we were all laughing together. However, after the show, everyone else melted away, leaving my brother, our American friend (who looked like David Blaine), and me.
Much later, when we were home, I was pissed at my brother for a series of events, and somewhere at the back of my mind I was attributing this animosity to our five year gap. But I'm sorry to use my own brother as my primary example. He isn't exactly the least intolerable older guy that I can laugh with and get pissed at in the same time. Take note that the majority of people I smoked, drank, ate, laughed, and had coffee with are older than me, by the significant average of 2 years. Furthermore, I must admit that somewhere in time I have personally resented the majority of these older brothers and sisters of mine for various intolerable acts of theirs, involving indifference, apathy, and otherwise sheer predictable actions prodded by their arrogance and insensitivity against youth.
That's my beef with older people. And now that I realize it I look at the majority of people my age and younger as gullible and attention-seeking, easily swayed by what the hoi polloi says is the in thing.
Somewhere back, I said that everything a person does in this planet is fueled by choice, no matter how drunk or fretful you get. Right now I'm thinking, is that condescending attitude I had for those people my age during that party due to a choice i made that was affected by exposure to people that possible practiced the same elder arrogance over me? Am I the only man who rebels against and adores elders at the same time, while practicing preternatural bias and enmity against those the same age or younger than me? Have I established a generation wholly to myself? Are there people like me out there? Should I even bother to look for these people? Is this situation I have beneficial, detremental permanently, or detremental and changeable?
Right now I'm thinking, Why in the world am I even bothering myself with this? Well, now it seems that I haven't found true satisfaction regardless of who I hung out with so far. I define true satisfaction as something you can remember, something you can tell your grandkids, something you keep coming back for.
And as I typed that last sentence, something hit me: That definition is similar to what I describe for pain!
(To Be Continued....)