Before everything, that last post (The Last Word) was from a YM conversation between me (buddha_burger) and, obviously, Andreia. In the calmer state of mind I have today, I say that sooner or later that was bound to happen as a consequence. To what? I don't wanna explain anymore. Or, well, maybe after this post. For now, we recall the closing lines I typed a few days ago..
I define true satisfaction as something you can remember, something you can tell your grandkids, something you keep coming back for.
And as I typed that last sentence, something hit me: That definition is similar to what I describe for pain!
It looks like I just confirmed myself as a friggin martyr with these words.
I am not a martyr. Suicide Bombers are martyrs. The purpose of my willful suffering is far less glorified than that of those C-4 strapping meatheads(by their people, at least). Most of the time it isn't my choice to be in the least favorable position; However, I feel that feeling the pain of the consequence of not heeding my point is the best way to nail it into the hearts of those I wish to relay it to; I feel that personally throwing myself off a 50-foot cliff is the best way to tell my ignorant snaggle-toothed friends, "DON'T JUMP!"
And just now I realized something. I'm not calling my friends stupid. Hell, I'm not looking down on them. I'm not telling them, "You guys can't think for shit!"
Rather (and this is good), I'm telling them, "CUT THE YOUNGER GUY SOME SLACK, WHYDONTCHA!?"
Enough of that. This is what I have constructed so far: I derive some of my satisfaction from taking the pain of the consequences of arrogant/selfish/bad decisions made by my friends immediately around me as a way to prove my point. I usually take the pain to give whoever's with me a third-person view on how much their ignorance hurts. Teaching through pain. This, however, is dependent on the density of the atmosphere of sympathy that is present during the time.
It's something I got from my dad, I guess. I'll give him that: My father is the master of manipulation through conscience. I applaud this strategy he had. It must have saved many lives. It gets people moving out of understanding, optionally preceded by compassion.
I don't know exactly if this is a conclusion. I feel like I missed out on something. well till then..
(to be continued...?)
Something else I came up with on the way home 2 days ago
There are 2 types of people in this world:
People who have everything but don't know what they want, and
People who have nothing and know what they want