Well, if you read my profile, that was actually a shorter version of an 'about me' that I should have published, before learning that limitation. I still maintain that those guys are just plain mean. Here goes.
Putting things seriously, i really should tell you about me. This must be the fourth testimonial to myself... or let's just say it's a testimony of how dynamic God made our attitude as every day changes and teaches us something.
It's not a schizo thing, it's just that you really can't say everything about a person, especially yourself, in just ONE paragraph. The literary possibilities in QUALITY are infinite: I can probably type this down in a poem or i can even write it down instead of posting it for all to see. The literary possibilities in QUANTITY are infinite: Some people can describe theirselves in one of a couple of words and be content, and some can go all out and type down what they think they know and still think that something's off or missing. The literary possibilities and CIRCUMSTANCE are infinite: Sometimes God just moves to change lives that in, say, a man's autobiography, one chapter can totally contradict the other.
* This is coming from the serious-er and more accomodating part of me. *
If you're still reading this, and if so far the name 'God' mentioned did not lessen your interest, I admire you. If you're virtuously offended by that assumption, there is a big chance that you went past the (unfortunately) common and built in reactions of people when the issue of Christianity is discussed, and if i hit that, I applaud you. Keeping the faith is hard, but in the long run rewarding. But i won't go further. In fact, i can't. The feeling is deliciously indescribable by the english language.
For the record, it is July 4 2004, 8:54 pm. I can't think of any adjectives for myself, and even if i did, be uplifting or degrading, i'm the kind of person who wouldn't claim it publicly because i would cynically denounce myself. Some call me Brent, some call me JB, a few call me Joseph, and some know me only by last name. They're all the same person, thank God. I'm the kind of guy who would like to listen to John Coltrane while driving a black Honda Civic through traffic. I hate people who talk too much during movies. I read the Bible and pray every night, and I still feel like it's not enough. I like all kinds of Jazz, even the type you'd expect to listen to in a restaurant. To be precise, I'd like to listen to Sade's Smooth Operator while downing a shot of Goldschlager at around 8 in the evening in my (future)52nd floor condo looking at all the city lights before i go out to hang out and chill at Club Havana with my (future) girlfriend/fiance. That would be something i'd be glad to do each and every time. I tend to cynically reject and even denounce spoken delivery of appreciation, and i'd rather be content with the fact that i'm significant to people. My recipe for fried rice has no definite measurements or ingredients, but it just seems to be my own simple break from stress.
I am honestly not addicted to coffee, but i am a firm believer in the fact that it can jolt up a good conversation. In relation to this, i look down on people who give themselves bad or otherwise seemingly unacceptable titles in an effort to sound cool(e.g. Coffeeholic, Weed freak). Believe me, I've been there and it does NOT work. This is why i don't join all those weird groups in friendster unless i really believe i am one. And speaking of which, i hate people who give their friends copy-and-paste testimonials thinking that they can make them feel better. I am very cynical to people who are obviously very pretentious and EXTREMELY predictable. While i'm at it, I have a disliking (i'm trying to use HATE!^%*%^*%! less) on people who test my patience and... I HATE people who think they're better than everybody in everything. I HATE people who jump to conclusions and are too unpractically proud to be convinced otherwise. You get a lot of those people here in Baguio. I try so hard to forgive them with every day i live.
* If there was such a thing as a righteous and selective cynic, that would be me. *
I'm a guy who loves his parents so much that i'm still very immature in some ways. I'm thinking that I'm their last chance for them not to screw up (not that they screwed up on my brothers, bless them. The Bible says to to good whenever you can, however you can, and i'm slowly practicing with every day that passes to treat all my friends like brothers and sisters. Nothing necessarily gay/romantic, though.
For good reason, when you think about it. Take a look at how many friends i have in my network. it's 192 as of today. but honestly, i can say that i can think of only around 100+ out of them to hang out with me in the hospital if something happens. and I'm EXPECTING around 20-30 of them to come(you know who you are). Take note that these are very GENEROUS assumptions. I need to be DOUBLE friendly and less selective, less favorative, less obnoxious.
To these friends i have, don't get me wrong. I love you all nontheless and would be glad to take a bullet for you (the closer you are, the more likely i won't care about what organ might get hit) if it meant helping you out.
Unfortunately, my mind's out. If you're stil reading this, it's likely i'll meet you on the street someday and talk with you and ask you if you mind continuing the conversation at a cafe, coffee and cigarettes on me.
Hopefully whatever i said now would have been the more permanent part of me. Always remember, though, that things change. After all, this is just the SERIOUS part. :) Peace, God Bless.
*--e-p-i-l-o-g-u-e-?--*
May 19 was a very memorable day for me. i did not smoke. i did not drink. i did not eat anything greasy or otherwise heart-attack-while-taking-dump-y. i did not f*ck. i did not j*ck off. i did not swear. i did not get pissed at all. i was a Hindu cow. i was the Zen master. It's amazing what you can (or in my case can't) do when you're suffering from tonsilitis. yeah.
"There are two things in this world that i never break: My word, and my balls!"
-Tony Montana
RANDOM FAT PERSON
WHAT DISTURBED ME TODAY:My cat, recently Christened Doggie. The thing is so fucking feisty that i clawed on my chest.