Talking To Myself

Well, it seems like it anyway. Since they went ahead and blocked Blogger over at work, I've been looking for other means to post, just in case the need arises. With everything that's happening, I have to admit that it is pretty hard to hold on to a thought worth blogging nowadays. That, or I'm starting to feel my age. I just thank the Lord that the pain in my neck is just a pain in my neck, not indicative of anything worse, like, say, high blood pressure. It wouldn't be very nice if I felt a sudden pop before I black out at work.

Hey, it can happen. Just like this freakin' typhoon happened, and all the things that followed happened. I'm here in the mall now, making use of the free internet that some blessed soul thought of making available in all SM Malls, just letting out what I have in mind, while in the back of my mind I'm secretly hoping that Pao would just show up out of nowhere and take me by surprise. Where is she, you ask? I don't know... and let me tell you, the lack of communication we have brought about by the event of her cellphone getting lost has been capable of shaking me just like the whole storm we just had here could.

I'm glad I went to church today. They talked about foundation, and I couldn't agree more on its importance. If I were to rate myself in being consistent in God's word (consistency defined as me walking the talk and the talk is the Word) over the past few days, I could say that I haven't been serving God, more of serving myself. It seems as if the Christian in me still bows down to the old self that demands instant gratification regardless of the cost on other people, resulting in remorse and regret that I am deceived to address by more instant gratification.

Speaking of remorse and regret, I will remember what was said by that Pastor over at Victory today: Remorse comes from the awareness that you hurt somebody, regret comes from the awareness that you hurt yourself... but repentance comes from the awareness that you hurt God. Repentance is one thing that is needed in order to have a strong foundation as a Christian. Anyone else can feel remorse and regret, but the need to repent comes only from the fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom. Repentance itself is not necessarily just feeling bad about it. I keep telling myself that awareness of a problem is only the first part to a solution. What really drives results is what we do after, and as the Pastor mentioned, what's to do is to turn away from the sin that grieves God. He said it bluntly and perfectly - we can't just say sorry to God for what we did now, and sorry in advance because we're going to do it tomorrow.

I'm glad I went to church today. It reinforced the need for me to watch why I do things, and I definitely shouldn't go ahead and tell you of all this, pray, give, and serve just to appase a guilty conscience that fuels 'acts that lead to death' as defined in the Book of Hebrews in the Bible (I'll have to get back to you on that). I do what I do because I love the Lord, and the quality and sincerity I throw into it shows how grateful I am for a second chance through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, shed on the cross for you and me. Repentance takes out anything that hinders us from giving the Lord our best shot, and it has to be done in the attempt to strengthen the foundation we need to stand up as a believer, and not just a bag of hot wind.

Why do you do?

God bless you. Have a great week ahead.

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