Mein Stolz, Mein Feind

It looks like it took a whole week for me to go ahead and open my eyes completely to the reality of my situation here. All this time I've been transitioning between thinking freely and setting things straight by way of prioritizing. It looks like I haven't been doing a good job either, because I've been complaining more than actually moving.

The way I see it now, complaining is lamenting over what we don't have. For instance, I complain whenever our boss tells us to take in calls because it leads me to feel that I'm not valued as much as I used to believe I was. The feeling of arrogance accompanying the act of thinking about what I should have is further amplified whenever I had it before. I find myself comparing the past to what I have now, as if I could bring it back by thinking about it to the point that my judgement is clouded.

And once again the ugly face of pride shows itself - "I SHOULD have this. I MUST have that. I don't care about anything else but ME, MYSELF, and I. I don't care if I hurt anyone, or if I compromise anyone's feelings in any other way, as long as I, I, I get what I want."

This has to stop. It isn't anyone else's fault.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

- 2 Corinthians 12:9

This is my weakness. Let Christ's power rest on me.

God bless you.