I have been in the office for around 12 hours, and I have also been up for roughly 14 and a fourth of an hour. I imagine that you stalwarts have gone through the same or even worse cases of exhaustion, but I'd like to think that today stands out.
It all started with me walking into the office after having 3 fortunate rest days in a row. I thought I was ready for anything when I took a seat and turned the computer on over at my office - ah, fuck it - my CUBICLE. This all changed when my boss suddenly walks in and tells me, between breaths after apparent running (or, in her case, brisk walking), that she would like to have a word with me. Funny that someone would put that first in her list, I thought - then I dismissed this peculiarity simply because I was and probably always will be the first person she sees when she sits down and looks at the station in front of her.
Before I continue, let me inform you that I was assigned to a new task, rather, a new department. Hell, I wouldn't call it a new department because I was in a familiar and a better process implementation group before they - 'they' being the usual people upstairs - yanked me out, took out the whole process, and eventually realized that they compromised more than just the company's overall performance, as predicted. This 'new department' I speak of is their way of bringing the process back, however instead of calling us back, they went ahead and tapped other resources.
It's always a frenzy of change in the office, and apparently this, combined with the resentment accumulated over the events that transpired as mentioned, apparently clouded my abilities to keep myself from complaining casually...
...and obviously indirectly, as well. After spending an hour or so with the team I was assigned to look over in the new 'department', I caught my boss' eye and she called me over. She talked to me about her thoughts regarding some ill news regarding my hostility towards this new assignment. I admitted my frustration, but I also had to stand for my decision to stand against the inevitable. I learned that I was her 'best choice' out of two people as the rest of us in our department were busy catching up with their own requirements. It was quite futile to really spill everything out to her, so I apologized to her and promised her my best. We both agreed upon the moral of this situation which was, "Be flexible".
Fast forward to 10 minutes later, as I met a former military (and by the way, do NOT call a former Marine an ex-Marine) man outside catching a few puffs. I didn't tell him about the event, but I went beyond that and told him about how disappointed I am with everything going on in this job. The 47-year old told me that this was merely his 4th job ever since, and he said that in each job he got, he liked what he was doing because he did the best in whatever was thrown to him. That was his way of being flexible. I was inspired by the moral of his story thus far, which was, "Think of how you would make a difference each day".
Fast forward to roughly a couple of hours later, as I was in a Yahoo! Messenger conference with my direct workmates. To cut a long story short - as (1) The details of the story aren't very entertaining anyway and (2) This blog is probably long enough as it is - I wouldn't know if the person I was chatting with at the time really got my point when I said that spoken word needs just a little more to be decreed as something to consider, and never instantly accepted as truth. I trusted on her own understanding to finish what I apparently started in her head.
Fast forward to the end of my shift, which by the way ended 3 hours and 56 minutes ago as of this WORD. I noticed that a workmate I had was disturbed by an apparent heated exchange of words with yet another workmate. I told her to settle down and to act upon this a step higher than I read she would. See, I gathered that apparently things went down with her going down his level, and we all know that this never works. I reminded her that she was a better person than that, and I was glad that she understood this right away.
It was not my intention to talk to the other party, but apparently he wanted to know about my take on complaining, something that the girl reacted to which started the animosity. I tried as much as I could to attack the problem directly, by telling him that running your mouth can get you into some deep shit. We were going into all sorts of circles as sadly, I didn't think I was able to get through his own pride. I ended the conversation with what happened between me and my boss earlier this shift. I don't know if my point was made then, but at any rate, I would have wanted to see him rant to our boss the same way he did to our workmate. He probably would have gotten into deeper shit that I already did. I pray that the story I had for him was the 'little more' for him to decree my point as 'something to consider'.
I remember logging out after an hour or so. He was going my way, so we were on our way out together. I also remember preparing myself for listening - there are people who just wouldn't stop talking, you think? - and reacting as I was expecting our conversation to have a part II really soon. Out of nowhere our workmate - the same one who my companion at the time had a heated discussion with - called us and the rest of the available fortunates in the same 'new department' to talk about a common goal. This time, thank God, I didn't hear any personal attacks towards anyone, and we were once again thinking as a team.
It looks like what I learned immediately had an assessment on the same day.
God, is this the difference You wanted?