Well now. It's five to one and I really wouldn't have a clue on where I stand if I ask myself if I need to sleep.
Circumstance is telling me "yes". Why?
The rightmost bottom molar in my mouth is growing horizontally instead of vertically and is doing its periodical bitching by hurting like hell.
And I need all the rest I can get for another week of work, on a different and more fucked up schedule I might add.
And my parents went to the same old grind of making me feel bad because I didn't see them last night, even if I told them I was on mandatory overtime. It's just so annoying at the same time convicting, overall totally unneccesary. My dad called me AT WORK to come home right away just because.
Fair enough, right? Now why am I still typing this down instead of counting sheep?
Because Conscience, the fickle jackass that it is, is telling me "STAY THE FUCK UP UNTIL YOU GET THIS OFFA YOUR CHEST!"
That's right, I'm bothering myself again. Don't be surprised. I'm fretting over another stupid snap decision I made tonight.
See, I was supposed to meet my lady to hang out, or something. I didn't. Because I made another stupid decision. Here's what happened.
I got home at around 6 in the morning a while back after making a pre-stupid decision stupid decision(!?!?) to have a few beers before going home. Slept till around 1, woke up to learn that manang was not home and will not be home till later in the afternoon. I text my lady, and right then and there I became such an assuming ass when I thought that the lack of vigor my lady showed in her replies and later when I tried calling her would mean that she wasn't in the mood.
At that point, I already established the thought that I may not be meeting her today. This thought was reinforced into a decision when circumstance after circumstance popped up. Them teeth started hurting again. Manang didn't come till around 5:30 pm, and when I was to do one more chore with her to look good my parents, who come with this innate sense of convincing to get what they want, arrive earlier that usual, botching my chances of going out.
I take a shower anyway, thinking there may be that small chance. Just as I put my boxers on the weather decides to be a bitch and turns into rain. Not just any ordinary rain, but "STAY THE FUCK HOME!" rain. At this time I give up to the little voice in the back of my head that was telling me to stay. I text my lady, saying I can't go out. Now I'm partially dressed up, with nowhere to go.
My timing sucks. And here I am, paying for it. Right now I'm in the red, where I never was before. Yes, I'm making it a big thing. Because I just feel like crap over here.
Vai, I'm sorry.