For the past few nights, I have been dreaming about all the ladies that have passed through my life and left me hung-over... and these dreams are offering me more of the Island Punch of these ladies... wherein she knows more of my previously-uncontrollable unattractive Excess-high-school-testosterone-induced emotional imbalance rather than my good side. In the words of Ben Stiller in There's Something About Mary (Excellent movie, BTW), "I released the psycho on her! She's gonna be fucking pissed!". Now that I have a blog and an improved sense of well-being, is this a sign that I have a chance of clearing things out? And while I'm at the development of a solid foundation for this newborn theory, why don't I take a gander at assigning an approximate alcoholic equivalent for the other ladies I 'drank' (Harhar. Grow up.).. But I won't go into specifics, and I won't name names, because that would make me an ass. Let me just say that I've had Island Punch. Rephrasing what I said a few sentences ago, it was what we would drink the most during our second year in college.
And I've had Tonic Water. Bubbly but not quite what I was looking for when I look for a drink.
Alternatively, I've had Gin. I can't drink it every time. It's just not right. And I prefer a sweet chaser with it.
And who could forget beer? You can drink it daily, but when you really think about it, it's not that special.
...I've recently had some Gilbey's (cheap) Vodka. It's specifically Gilbey's because that liquid (and, oddly enough, its feminine equal) left me with the same trauma. When I tried it the first time, I got really drunk, but nothing compared to the painful hang-over that woke me up, and whatever I drank for that morning, no matter how much of a base it was, the disgusting taste came back to my mouth.
Tequila. Frankly, too mainstream. Too pretentious.
Then there's Goldschlager; or okay, Bailey's. It's enjoyable in any way you can imagine, but you can't them all the time because they're too damn expensive.
The list goes on and on... And I haven't even delved in mixed drinks yet. Sorry, I thought it was a lost cause just now. Well, lemme just say that Women are just pleasantly complicated. But seriously, when do I get to solve 'em!?
What happened to bubblegum ice cream? Everyone's all over cookies and cream nowadays... So much that it sounds so cute. I tell you, if bubblegum ice cream was still around it would be a lot cuter. I guess Selecta bought off Coney Island... Just like John Hay was bought off by some fat 'taipan' or whatever the hell you call those rich peckers. See, that's what pisses me off. We have activists everywhere here just whining against whoever's in charge in the Oval Office, when they should be pissed at these fat asses throwing away money on diesel-eaters. See what watching Unwrapped gives me? And while I'm on the Lifestyle Network, is that Emeril guy any good? Really, I can't get the connection between standup comedy and live cooking.
Good Iron Chef Episode for this week, by the way. In summary, Takeshi Kaga said "You don't fuck with me!". And it's a rare moment when I was really rooting for Pat Morita, without sarcasm. His bitch comments killed that pathetic challenger and humbled that arrogant dumbass boss of his. I'm sorry. He seems like the personification of all the undue aggravation I've been through. I got more respect for Rokusaburo Michiba now.