Merry Christmas, everyone. My runny nose is gone, thank God. Now I can think straight and remember what I was supposed to rant about for the past few days.
Fortunately, I forgot most of them. This thought stood out though: Julia Fordham is white? Damn. All this time I thought that her songs more aired were 'original, full of soul and emotion' - a comment I'd find myself giving to Oleta Adams, Diana King, and them fellows who sang 'The Sideshow'!
What's next? Is somebody going to tell me that Michael Jackson was black? Oh, wait.
A suggestion for my fellow single people moping how the Holidays just suck: Listen to Dave Matthews next Christmas night. Or do it now before it's too late. Or just listen to the guy. It'll ease your mind of all the problems that could have happened to you during the month of December. Ahem. "You cannot quit me so quickly..." Woohoo!
Please don't get me wrong. See, I'm aware of the saying that it's no use to dwell on the pains of past events. And from reading the Purpose Driven Life, I have also taken it into heart to learn from these pains. Once you learn, you naturally and beautifully let go of the pain and take in the healing of understanding. Good theory, right? Wrong.
let me mention once again that this December is the month wherein i came upon a dilemma-turned-disaster that either broke that theory to shit, or is giving it a really heavy test. Simply put, the pain is all there, and it's simple to cure but hard to take. I LOVED Andreia, no matter how PATHETIC it was on my part. Now all i have is that mindless, lost concern that comes when you still think that you're significant to somebody in a way that you've seeked for a long long time. I'm confused. I'm listless. I'm frustrated. I need a fucking thesaurus.
It still hurts so much that the lessons just aren't there. When I check my cellphone, I remember her. How the hell should I start learning?
Just as I typed that last question, the word 'Patience' was whispered in my mind. How long must I have it?
Ok, that's one problem mentioned. I went against my usual style and dealt with the worst problem first.
The next problem I have is the guilt trip i feel for all the things I did in vain to get over the pain of problem number One.
And I never mentioned the other people I encouraged to go on drunken or caffeinated debacles for the past few weeks, who have some heavy problems of their own as well.
Then as I turn on the TV, I watch news reporters giving aid to the poor who couldn't enjoy as much food as Erap. That's pretty comforting, until you hear a few perfumed lines that should make you say 'Aww...' and watch the channel more out of sympathy for how they televise the pain of other people. I'm sorry, I just felt really cynical about them.
Then there's that runny nose and sore throat that just knocked me down on the hectic days before Christmas.
And kanina I wasn't able reformat this bugged up PC because the format.com here was not compatible with my MS-DOS version.
And so far it seems like the only comfort I have is that my thesis panelists and Beloved Advisor (the same way Kim Jong-il is Beloved) released me into a jobless Baguio.
It's enough to make me Scrooge, I'm telling you. But, as ate amz said, God Bless her, there's still a lot to be thankful for.. And I'll center in on the main one, the true and only reason for the season - The birth of none other than our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ. Come to think of it, I pushed this light-at-end-of-tunnel fact into the far corners while them problems took Center Stage with a good ol' "Humbug!".
Once you're thankful for that, you'll be reminded of the sacrifice, then you'll be thankful for the salvation. And frankly, that's all you need. But it'll take more than human reason to grasp this truth.
'Patience', the little voice in my head says, followed by 'Faith'.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night.