Love As A Slap To The Face

Have you ever found it hard to throw away a friendship that lasted for too long? I didn't. in fact, i feel more freedom now, because in the last days of this 'friendship' it seemed like i spent most of it in worry and spite. When she wasn't near me, I'd worry. When she was with me, I'd feel uncomfortable considering the fact that she's somebody else.

Besides, she found it easier on her part. Here's the story:

So it's the night of the Mars bullshit. I ask her out and hopefully, in this once-in-a-lifetime night, I could get some points into her head. But just as the conversation gets better, she gives me a totally fucked up reason (you don't want to know) to excuse herself.

Frustrating.

2 nights later, she asks me out, and i follow. I arrive at a place i could have enjoyed if i was 5 years younger. Double bad trip. Anyway, in the sense of vengeance, I give myself a reason to leave as well (and my reason wasn't that full of shit compared to hers), to a place where i can hang out and drink and actually enjoy myself.

Out of concern(or insanity) my other friend who happened to be where i went to and had some concern for my friend (gulo no?) called her over. She arrived, and we just went all out on her that night. We nagged her on how fucked up she is now because of the decisions she made in the past. She got more and more hardheaded and proud, and things got more and more fucked up.

She leaves, and 2 hours later we do too. The last thought in my head was that we were all intoxicated, and this kind of shit happens.

I awake, and suddenly i realize i am so fucking wrong. here's what i remember from our final conversation (thru text)

HER: Napahiya ako sa inyo at sa mga kaibigan ko. matuto naman kayong pumili ng lugar(or something like that). ibabalik ko na lahat ng gamit mo.

ME: I remember everything said last night, and frankly, i don't regret what i said.

HER: tangina mo!

ME: Premature.

HER: call me what you want. kalimutan na to. bullshit kayo.

ME: Didn't think you'd get that. You know, if a person is mad and can't say anything to counter, she'd reply in a pathetic swear word. It's ok.

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what kind of friend would swear at you the morning after you tried to knock some sense into her head due to being overly concerned? I have just learned that people can really get into deep shit if they were so fucking hardheaded.

So that's that. I'm not feeling any remorse. I don't miss her, I don't love her, I don't care about her anymore.

R.I.P., MAML